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“Are you going to cum for your master?”

To submit or not to submit, that is the question…

When I reblogged a Kickstarter campain for Black Door Press recently (Go Gillian!) It did something crazy to the chronological order of my posts and it made me look at a few of my very early outpourings…

When I began this blog (very impulsively!) it was all about me having this renewed sex drive and using it as much as possible (with my husband).

Yes I have always had the tendency to want to be dominated during sexual play – but this kink seems to be spilling into daily life to such an extent that, if I’d known how much I would end up doing for him – I’m not sure I would have allowed us to get together – all those years ago…

That girl when we first met, was not prim and proper. Kind of sexually experienced – but with only a few people. Above all she believed in equality between the sexes – under all circumstances and had absolutely no idea about the pleasures of submission… Although saying that she did know that pain and the idea of being dominated turned her on – but only during sex!

There has been a journey of sorts…

Its been turning over and over in my mind what the next step is – if there is to be another step…

There are many blogs with different perspectives of sub/dom relaitionships – its been rather enlightening reading them. Most seem to work very well, but they are all each unique in their own way.

What we have at the moment works. We/I am happy…

I try to make his coffee every morning (which kind of turns me on – especially if I’m abit late with it and he’s coming down the stairs and sees me scuttling around trying to get it done). I apologize alot to him. (Something about saying sorry is so horny for me.) He is also so much sterner with me in everyday life. (which makes me soooo wet!) He pushes me around – which he never used to do. He fondles and feels me (and takes my breath away) many times during each day.

But if its just about sex…

The other night we were fucking and he said

“Are you going to cum for your master?” It was like electricity shooting through me and I could feel my whole body shaking with the effects of those words…

He has never used the word ‘master’ before. Of course I orgasmed and then he said it again… But it wasn’t actually the cumming which made me stand to attention (don’t get me wrong it was delicious!)

His little string of words seemed to touch something deep inside. I didn’t talk about it afterwards. He could have been joking… or talking dirty – I guess he knows many of my little turn ons…

There is definitely a new dynamic in our relationship. Maybe that is why we are closer than we have ever been.

We’ve talked half jokingly about me being his fuckable property. I guess I am. But how far will this go?

Strangely though, I have always been the more dominant one in the relationship. Its me who has always made the ‘big’ decisions (of course with his full cooperation.)

But there is something so deliciously enticing being a slave to all his wishes… actually being owned…

Its his birthday soon and I am toying with the idea of sending him a card with:

I give myself to you…

or some such writing in. Of course I will be his present for the day (maybe its his birthday everyday!) But part of me wants to go further…

I guess we need to talk! Something in me is holding back though. He’s the sort of person, who doesn’t like setting things in stone or giving things labels or names. Maybe we don’t need to talk and it will happen naturally…

I’m not sure what will happen or what is right to be honest.

We shall see… any thoughts much appreciated…

I am going to have to get my shit together again for the next few weeks – which means visiting your blogs alot less – I really will miss you (mostly pervy) people!!  But has do be done as it does take up time reading your juicy writings! My postings have been a little thin of late – so no change on this front ; )

But it won’t be forever – just the next few weeks!

Of course I will be replying to your comments! 

 

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