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Soft cock… But I’m a damn good fuck!

15 Oct

I know he finds me a turn on

I know its happened before, but there’s usually a physical reason, but when his cock went soft this time – there was no indigestion etc

At first, I thought of not writing about it – maybe out of embarrassment for myself, or maybe because I envisage that one day – he might read this post – by consent, or mistake…

But I set out to make this an honest blog. Also on reflection, a cock going limp isn’t actually that bad…

I have always felt that women have a huge advantage over men during sex in one respect.  If it ever happens during sex that we start thinking about the car needing to go to the garage, or if we’re worried about whether we are pleasing our partner enough etc – no one need know. Guys on the other hand have a very obvious indicator as to whether they are enjoying themselves sexually (or not!)

The other thing about a soft dick is that a women may get insecure about how attractive she is. Ok there was a little niggle at the back of my mind racing around thinking – is it me? But I know he finds me a turn on and I’m very confidant in my body and I feel attractive etc – don’t get me wrong there are a couple of things which I might like to change – but on the whole, I feel very lucky with what I’ve got! And I’m a damn good fuck!

At the end of the day we’re all human and not just love machines…

To be continued… the finer details etc

 

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11 responses to “Soft cock… But I’m a damn good fuck!

  1. terriblytorn13

    October 15, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    I think it’s a great post…..I am eagerly awaiting the conclusion. I have had this happen and my first thought is that it’s got to be me. Hearing that it can happen to such an amazingly well paired sexy couple too helps to know it’s not all me, maybe it’s just a fluke.

     
    • sexuallifeofawife

      October 16, 2011 at 7:11 am

      Thank you! (Was just wondering if you were back from your trip…) will post conclusion later today … (if time…)

       
  2. lostinthearmsofdestiny

    October 15, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    I’m glad your so open about these things. I think everyone can relate well to this post 🙂
    I think all couples have that one night….and of course the first thoughts for the female are “is it me?”
    Well done.

    -Marie

     
    • sexuallifeofawife

      October 16, 2011 at 7:16 am

      Thank you for the encouragement Maria! I feel I have to be open – otherwise there’s no point. Also the good times won’t seem so real….

       
  3. Harnew

    October 21, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Thank you, thank you for that fourth paragraph. Y’all do have a big advantage over us in that respect. Guys have an obvious indicator. Thanks for realizing this

     
    • sexuallifeofawife

      October 21, 2011 at 11:05 am

      You are very welcome Harnew! Performance anxiety with a new woman or if impotence has become an issue must be killing! At least we can just open our legs!

       
  4. thepostmanalwaysrings

    October 23, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    I loved this post as again it is so honest and talks about something that is rarely mentioned is blogs. I like when you say ‘I have always felt that women have a huge advantage over men during sex in one respect’ as I do believe it is so true. Men do have an immediate indicator of when their sexual arousal has been affected by something…a man could actually have sex with a woman who was not too aroused quite easily and not know…but for a man the losing of the erection is an immediate giveaway as well as an embarrassment to both the man and the woman. Often leading to excuses or feelings of inadequacy which probably are not justified and the excuses not needed if the communication between the two people involved is 100% honest, and also the man can ‘live’ with the fact that he is not ever virile and able to be erect on demand.
    I honestly know little about ED erectile dysfunction but would hazard a guess that a very high percentage men who lose their erections do so not from health problems, but because for a moment during the sex or even before the sex something else has come into their mind, or indeed they have things in life which just cause him not to feel as horny as he could be…things on his mind, or tiredness.
    I have been in this exact situation and have known what it is like to lose an erection and just feel completely embarrassed. I was married at the time (for a short spell) and the intimacy and communication between my ex and I had started to fall apart……and it became a vicious cycle where the first time the erection went my ex wondered if it was her, when in fact it wasn’t her or me – but both of us. We were trying to have sex but other things were blocking the intimacy. This then led to the next time we had sex me worrying about me losing my erection again – and as many men know, as sure as eggs are eggs – if you worry you will lose your erection or that monkey appears on your back and whispers in your ear ‘hey, you know you’re not as young as you used to be…I bet you can’t keep this up and you will embarrass yourself again’…then the erection will inevitably go and it is so often not spoken about as to why. Then that word all men hate to even contemplate raises it’s head …the ‘I’ word…’Impotence’. Yes all men have heard of it but none would dare to think it could happen to them. I do actually think ‘Impotence’ is different from this (I am no doctor) as surely impotence has an underlying health issue, such as diabetes. However I have indeed at one time lost it and gotten into that vicious circle so that it became a real issue for my ex-wife and I. So much so that we started to get embarrassed or scared to have sex…a real indicator that you are not communicating!
    In the end I used Viagra and the affects were more or less instant. I had a hard on like a 17 year old and all was well again…we did however then talk about this and many things and thankfully got rid of the block and the anxiety and I used Viagra only a few times after that.
    I do remember a guy who I was at University with who had a lovely girlfriend, who masturbated frequently, but during sex could never get an erection, as he confided to me one day in his desperation. He was obviously scared now that each time he would lose it.
    I think men are very fortunate to have the luxury of being able to use Viagra, and feel sorry for men years ago who had to live perhaps the rest of their married lives believing they were impotent – and who knows maybe even stop having sex with their wives and their wives thinking they had no longer become sexually attractive to them.
    This is a really interesting subject which is not often spoken about, but should be more and more openly, especially if it ever happens between two between who do love each other and want to have sex.
    I do believe so much does lie in honest open communication, intimacy and ultimately the man knowing that he certainly is not impotent and there is no shame in losing an erection if asked to perform while his mind is pre-occupied by everyday worries…gone today, but back tomorrow…talk about it, cuddle, do other things like oral, kissing, touching and relax – it really is all totally natural and no shame.

     
  5. sexuallifeofawife

    October 24, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Thank you for sharing your story of ‘losing it.’ You put the ‘vicious circle,’ so succinctly into words. Great that you mention Viagra can help – for some people this may stop the ‘catch 22.’
    Yes, you’re right impotence is usually from underlying health issues – ED in the mind and in a communicative relationship should be able to get through it without making too much of it. I guess its when one or both partners are insecure that it can become a real scary ‘issue’.
    I think you need to be a real man and confidant in your sexual prowess (which I very much get the impression that you are!) to be able to admit a ‘flop’ even if its in the past – so good for you!

     
  6. thepostmanalwaysrings

    October 24, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Thank you for the reply, I was actually going to mention that rather than turn it into an ‘issue’ I think a wonderful cure maybe for both partners to not see it as ‘the end of the sexual encounter’ when the flop happens and instead turn it on it’s head (in every sense) and use the moment just to acknowledge that ‘well it isn’t hard always’ but when it is not and the man still feels horny, then why not try just kissing, licking and the woman loving the man’s soft cock – spending time sucking it and reassuring her partner that it does not need to be hard for a girl to get some pleasure from having his cock in her mouth…in fact it could be quite beautiful, playful and sexy as she gently sucks and plays on the soft cock and both take time for real intimacy and play – touching, stroking, kissing, him also giving oral. I can guess that after a while the issue of it being soft will go away soon…and may well initiate a lovely erection that the man was fearing that he may not get – as there is no pressure any more.
    Also a wonderful time for playing with toys. I have always loved pleasing my partners with whatever toys they enjoy….so just move the focus and change the way you ‘love’ each other…turn something that could have been an embarrssing moment into something spectacular and intimate:)

     
  7. H.H.

    December 14, 2011 at 8:26 am

    I write about this from time to time, from the male perspective. Given the frequency of sex, it’s bound to happen once in a while, right? I mean that in two ways. 1) The odds of it happening are just higher the more sex you have; 2) Maybe he can’t keep up with you, literally.

    Anyhow, keepin’ it real. I like that. But I wonder, what would happen if he read the blog? Better communication or worse? Does he know about your blog?

    Last question – your photos are really well done. Love the black and white. But they all seem to be self-shots. Any chance your hubby will take pics of you. I LOVE taking pics of Lo (if you haven’t noticed). Such a turn-on.

    Keep up the good work.

    HH

     
    • sexuallifeofawife

      December 14, 2011 at 9:05 pm

      Thank you for this prompt – I have just released a new post ‘putting the record straight” As I did indeed tell my husband a while ago and the communication has definitely been better ; )
      Mmmm, yes you are right on counts 1 and 2 – the likelihood of it happening being much greater and also yes, maybe he can’t keep up with me… Could my vastly increased horniness be natures way of trying to get me pregnant before all my eggs run out? (Definitely don’t want anymore babies now though – having too much of a good time!!)
      Yes, I have noticed your love of taking pictures of Lo! I wonder if he would…
      SophiaX

       

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